i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
