My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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