I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's never too late to be topless.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
