apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
