I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Come share oat with me in your robe
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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