nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
