You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
wow bdsm is so cute
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