The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
