did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize