you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
