i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
