im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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