So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
