The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
