they need to just BURY HIM!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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