You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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