Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
