Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
