And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize