I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
