Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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