So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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