i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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