i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
