So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
