It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
