I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
