Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize