i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
