Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
