How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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