omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize