will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
