I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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