My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
