We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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