I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
