He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
