went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize