Just cropdusted the office
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
