Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
