The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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