she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
