Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
