Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
