Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
