I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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