you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
