I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
