Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he puts the penis in happiness.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize