im holly from the hills drunk
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
