I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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