I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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