Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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