I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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