When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
