I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize